Time to Lighten Up

by Melannie Svoboda SND on October 10, 2016

When I give talks and retreats, I always say, “Hang on to your sense of humor.” Humor helps us to keep things in perspective. It prevents us from taking ourselves too seriously. And it refreshes our spirit. With those thoughts in mind, here are a few items I hope bring a smile to your face.

Said the circus manager to the human cannonball: “You can’t quit! Where will I find another man of your caliber?”

A school boy took home a library book whose cover read “How to Hug”—only to discover that it was volume VII of an encyclopedia.

What’s more clever than speaking five languages? Keeping your mouth shut in one of them.smiley-1635449__180

Medical terminology: Artery: the study of fine paintings. Dilate: to live long. Post-operative: a letter carrier. Outpatient: A person who has fainted.

A four-year-old went with his Dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he excitedly told his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. “How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it’s printed on the bottom.”

Protons have Mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

All I ask for is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

humorlaughter-794305__180Louis was about to start his first job, and his uncle, a successful business man, gave him a word of advice. “The two most important words in business are integrity and wisdom. By integrity I mean that when you promise to deliver goods at a certain time, you do it no matter what, even if it bankrupts you.” “What about the wisdom?” asked Louis. Said his uncle, “Don’t make foolish promises.”

Frank believed that five was his special number. He was born on May 5, he had 5 children and lived at 555 East 55th. At the track on his 55th birthday, he was surprised to find a horse named Numero Cinco running in the fifth race. So 5 minutes before the race, he went to the fifth window and put five thousand dollars on Numero Cinco. Sure enough, the horse came in fifth.

Newspaper ad: “Need co-author for a book on self-reliance.”

Diplomacy: the art of letting someone else have your way.

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors and lawyers call what they do “practice”?

Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, “What was Jesus’ mother’s name?” One child answered, “Mary.” The humorpug-801826__180teacher then asked, “Who knows what Jesus’ father’s name was?” Another child said, “Verge.” Confused, the teacher asked, “Where did you get that?” The child said, “Well, you know they’re always talking about Verge and Mary.”

A couple who had been married for 50 years sat on a train. A young couple got on and took the seats in front of them. Occasionally the young man leaned over and kissed the young woman. The older woman smiled and whispered to her husband, “You can do that too if you want.” He said indignantly, “Don’t be silly. I don’t even know her.”

Eve was so jealous of Adam that when he came home at night she counted his ribs.

Man: Frankly, I’m not much of a baseball fan. I only go to the ballpark to see how grass is supposed to look.

The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened!

I’m offering two videos today. The first is a clip from “Comedy Central.” Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele ask: “What if teachers were treated like pro athletes?” This is a spoof of the program Sports Central. Notice the scores along the bottom of the screen. And don’t miss the car commercial at the end featuring not a famous athlete spokesperson, but an English teacher! Please note: I am not promoting the video clips that follow this one. You might find some of the humor and language in those offensive.

We can afford to smile and laugh because we believe we are in the palm of God’s hand. The second video is Michael Joncas’ “On Eagle’s Wings.”

 “On Eagle’s Wings”

 

 Is humor an essential part of your faith?

Would you like to share something “light” with us today?

What did you think of the video clip and song?

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathleen Magiera October 10, 2016 at 5:39 am

Sr Melannie,

I am a teacher educator and the Teaching Center video was fantastic!! I am going to share with my class today.

Kathleen

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Mary Schneider October 10, 2016 at 10:14 am

Sr. Melannie:

Words cannot tell you how much I loved the humorous dish you served up today. A wonderful way to start the week. A real belly laugh when that horse came in 5th. Thank you!!

Mary

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Joanne October 10, 2016 at 10:42 am

Sr. Melanie
Thank you for the humor this morning. Its wet here today as we wait to see what Hurricane Matthew will bring to us in Nova Scotia. I was not able to watch the video. It was not available for viewing in Canada but I loved the hymn. Always look forward to your Monday messages. Joanne

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Ann October 10, 2016 at 5:30 pm

Sister Melannie – This is one of the best! Light hearted, fun but lots of wisdom.

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Sr eamon October 10, 2016 at 7:20 pm

Sr. Melanie,
WHT a wonderful way to begin this week with good humor. It lightens the burdens of the and puts perspective on life.
Thank you for sharing these stories with us.
Keep laughing and God bless.
Sr. Eamon

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Herb October 10, 2016 at 7:34 pm

Sister Melannie At 91 it is a must to have a sense of humor.Enjoy your weekly website

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Linda October 10, 2016 at 7:49 pm

Sister Melanie, My siblings and I grew up with and Aunt Mary, my mothers sister, and and uncle Virgil, Mary’s husband. They lived in Connecticut. When I married my husband, I realized the irony of their names, when he laughed and with respect and said “Are Virg and Mary coming? They passed away within the last 5 years. Thank you for the memory.

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Tom October 10, 2016 at 10:00 pm

“The men gather for their class reunion-CEO’s, MD’s, PhD’s etc. One fellow, who was not expected to amount to much, proudly anounced that he has 300 people under him. He didn’t bother to mention that he is the groundskeeper at the local cemetery.”

I think it is worth noting that one of the defining characteristics of Cardinal-Elect Blase Cupich is his unassuming sense of humor.

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John Hopkins October 11, 2016 at 8:21 am

Dear Sister Melannie,

Great fun! Here’s one, got it from the podcast “Dinner Party Download.”

Man walks into a bar with jumper cables draped over his shoulders. Bartender says, “Sorry, you can’t come in here.” Man responds, “Aw, come on!” Bartender: “Okay, but just don’t start anything.”

PS: I am a Boston fan, but for the rest of the playoffs I’ll be rooting for the Indians!

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Thomas DeFreitas October 11, 2016 at 7:49 pm

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of a joke?”

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. Bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”

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